Thanks, Nana...Goodbye, Again...

Well, my grandmother's ("Nana's") estate has finally been settled. Almost exactly 3 months to the date of her death. I never, ever thought I would receive any sort of "inheritance" in my life. Mind you it's not a huge amount. Hardly! Patient Anonymous does not come from wealth.

My Nana (she absolutely refused to be called "Grandma" or any other variation of the term as she felt it made her feel "old") was a rather vain woman. As you can probably gather from the previous statement. She was always very fashionable, lived life to it's fullest potential and was actually very self-absorbed. However, she did have a sensitive flip side and she did not ever like to see anyone in pain or suffer. This I gradually started to find out only recently as she and I started to grow closer. You see, I began to inch quietly like a bit of a snake (albeit a frustrated and defiant one) in rattling some of the family's, closeted skeletal bones about my secret biological paternity. I had somehow hoped that she would have some sort of influence over me obtaining more information about the man I know nothing about from my completely delusional mother who is in absolute denial about it all.

My Nana's sole "wish" was that we could all be closer as a family. Perhaps my Nana was a bit delusional as well.

However, she is gone now. I must somehow try and tackle the problem of dealing with my mother on this issue alone. I don't know how successful I will be. I have major "mother issues"...primarily dealing with abandonment but it doesn't stop there.

Anyway, at least this hurdle is done with. And my sister and I are relieved that my mother didn't actually abscond with our shares in some psychotic episode. I'm not joking. We were actually a little fearful that might happen as she was the Executrix.

I feel conflicted about this. Someone dying and taking their money. "Bittersweet" is the only word that immediately comes to mind but even that doesn't seem to encompass all that I feel.