Well, Got The Apartment

That's one thing done...there's so much more to do though...

Least Favourite Work Task?

Oh crap. I have been asked to put together some sort of "social function" for work. I am not good at this. I positively loathe "event planning." I am the furthest thing from a social convenor imaginable! My decision making skills fluctuate obscenely but in this area they are virtually non-existent. Ugh.

The majority of times I don't even like to attend social functions (work or otherwise but especially work) but can and will when necessary. Depending upon how things move along, I may even (eventually?) enjoy myself but it really depends on a lot of factors.

This is going to be ugly (probably not so much the attending, just the preparation.) And I don't think I have a lot of time. Shit.

For -byrdz-...And Any House Fans...

Hey, I don't "dedicate" posts to just anyone! I'm kidding... Listen, I'll dedicate a post to whomever wishes. Just send me an email! I need all the inspiration to blog I can get, believe me.

So -byrdz- commented on my "Earworm" post below about what the theme song was for House since my last MP3 was that damn song that keeps appearing all over the place on medical dramas. Blame Grey's Anatomy for carrying the torch.

So anyway, I tried to help out with my pithy response that it was "Teardrop" by Massive Attack featuring Liz Fraser from the Cocteau Twins on vocals. I've really liked both bands for years.

So in honour of that, I'll now host that song. Looks like I'm starting a trend of hosting medical drama "theme" songs. Oh dear. That is not a good sign.

Writing: Bipolar

So as I've been in a bit of a blogging "funk" lately, I dug out my ancient Mac PowerBook last night to look at some of my old writing.

For those of you Macheads out there, you'll get a laugh out of this. It's a 5300cs. Basically a glorified typewriter/paperweight these days. With the emphasis on the "weight" part. It's not even fit for an internet connection. It still cranks away, though. It only froze on me once and gave me one disk error when I transferred this to a floppy disk to move it to a PC to place it here.

Yes, a floppy disk. Who uses those anymore?! I had to scavenge my desk at work to even try to find one!

I should try to rescue what's on it before it dies altogether although I think I have most of what's there in hardcopy form somewhere in the house?

Anyway, I wrote this a a few years ago. I can't quite remember when. I'm not sure if I like it or not. But it was written at a time in a place to capture a moment so here it is. And I have a thing for water. I just realized that as it also came up in my "writing assignment" from Cathy's "I Shall Not Waste My Days In Trying To Prolong Them" here.

I found something else, a fairly short story that I had started but it needs some further work so I think I may post that in the future as well.

Bipolar

Battling the ocean is what it’s like. Inside your body. The waves crash up against you inside. That almighty, amorphous sea that has lived for ages and shaped the earth now fills such a tiny space that is you and it is now up to you to try and tame it. That is what bipolar feels like. That same force that has moved icebergs, created continents, slain dinosaurs and destroyed battleships is now your own Demon.

It “feels” like the waves of the ocean inside you. As your moods shift, you have a “high tide,” and a “low tide.” At times there is a palpable, physical, internal force as you try to resist the internal change. And sometimes you can even get nauseous. A seasickness perhaps? For you feel it coming.

I can it feel it coming. I know the struggle. Sometimes I resist and sometimes I welcome the waves crashing in like old friends. This is bipolar. This is my bipolar. An endless ebb and flow. An endless cycle, older than all its sufferers.

Ever more it will take in its wake.

Hiatus

I may not be posting for a while. But knowing my tendency to be a blogaholic, well, that may change. I really do not know at this point.

But if you don't see me writing anything, I just wanted to post this as my previous entry was a little heavy and I didn't want people to think that I'd gone and offed myself.

I am up for the next installment of The Wolfden Bar and Grill, however, so that will be posted on Friday. I am not one to shirk my responsibilities.

Blindsided While Making Tea

Okay, this is my day of making short meaningless posts. While making my morning (aka go forth and be functional) tea, I was asked, "Who do like for the Superbowl this year PA?"

*stares vacantly*

PA knows at least something about many things in the world and well, she "gets" North American "football" but truth be told, she's much more a fan of European "football" or "soccer." In fact, she used to hang out at a Manchester United pub! Hey, it was a fun place!

PA: "Well, really, I haven't been following "football" at all this year. Who's playing?"

Man: "Chicago and Indianapolis"

PA: "Oh, the Bears and the Colts." (at least PA knew the teams...)

PA thought for a moment.

PA: "Well, my money's on the Colts."

Man: "I think you're right. They're a much better team and I think Chicago needs the colder weather to slow down other teams to get the advantage."

Oh dear, where's my tea.

I Love My Sister!

Honestly, I really don't know who's funnier, her or me. We make a great team. We don't talk often but thankfully there is email. She also has the url for this blog but I don't know if she reads it. Well, if you do, Sis', you're absolutely the best! Thank you for keeping me SANE (relatively?) even though I know we wonder so often whether we both are ourselves.

She's my only sibling and the only person in my family that I can talk to.

God I Needed That...

Had to go to partner's mother's for dinner. It's not quite as traumatic as visiting my mother. Apart from other things, what is key to mention at this moment in time is she always has relatively good wine.

After a couple of good glasses (goblets?) Patient Anonymous became suitably relaxed. I haven't had a drink since New Year's Eve.

Patient Anonymous tries not to drink--it messes her up and her partner does not like it. Not that her partner is "the alcohol police" but Patient Anonymous' drinking has led to some...arguments. Partner does not drink. Rarely, if ever.

Not that Patient Anonymous has done anything bad while drinking. But for some reason, it's a sore spot. Patient Anonymous actually thinks she's quite fun when she's had a few...or a quite a few. Perhaps that's the problem.

No matter. Tonight, some decent red was exactly what was needed.

When stated to partner, partner said: "Needed?"

Patient Anonymous jokingly retorted (ah, the English language...) "You know I've been stressed out...and Hypnotics don't work like the Benzos used to!" (i.e. I'm off benzos now.)

Note to all readers/Public Service Announcement: This post is purely for amusement purposes only. Do not seek substances (i.e. alcohol and/or drugs) for dealing with psychiatric problems or crises. Self-medication is not a solution. I should know.

*grin*

I Lied, I Did Do Something

Well, after a brief nap on the couch, partner wanted to go see a movie on the big screen so we went to go see "Notes on a Scandal." I finally managed to drag my wretched body up and out of the house.

Nothing like a nice, light flick to take your mind off things? Actually, Patient Anonymous prefers, darker subject matter anyway. The more troubling, the better. Not that comedy isn't good--I love a good laugh--but there's a lot of really dumb stuff out there. Documentaries are also high on the list. Granted, I'm not a "film snob." I'll watch anything. My partner's tastes can be so far off from mine! And not just in film but music as well! We are so different sometimes it amazes me how we're even together! But as she has said before, "It's our differences that make us interesting."

Anyway, back to the movie. If you don't know what it's about, basically, Judi Dench is a history teacher in a London school. She's been there (from what we gather, forever.) Cate Blanchett arrives as the ravishing (this is actually important) new art teacher. Now if you don't have a hole in your head from the outset, you can figure out that Judi Dench is actually a lesbian and she falls rather deeply for our dear Cate. This doesn't seem too hard to imagine? HA!

But that's not the scandalous part. Oh, no! Cate's character actually has an affair with one of her 15 year-old students. Judi witnesses this and well, their relationship gets rather complicated from there (as if it wasn't already) and all hell (typically) breaks loose.

It was actually quite good. I'm tempted to say "for a mainstream film" but that will make me sound like a film snob!

I really felt for the female characters. The story tells a tale of intimacy, passion, drives, loneliness, the need to be loved and feel alive and worthy. I could identify with the women, even if they had lost their moral compasses and at times seemed a bit off balance (been there?!)

I knew the story before going to see it. I read somewhere that it might not be palatable for "the wider audience" due to its content. I couldn't for the life of me understand what on earth that meant? I mean, yes, it's rather taboo for a teacher to sleep with a student but come on! It's actually happened! It's not like the movie is for the first time bringing it to the public's attention! And believe me, the public (at least here) doesn't seem to have any problem with it. The film's been out for a long time and for a matinée on a Sunday it was packed. So either Canadians are pretty open minded (well, actually a lot of us are...) or that writer was clearly not?

Anyway, time to go back to lying down.

Fuck It All To Hell Day

Today is has officially been deemed "Fuck It All To Hell Day."

No work/chores will be done (although they sadly need to be.)

No blogging should be done (but I suck and am an addict.)

Only the vacant staring at any movies or anime that may hold my attention (or may be sleep inducing) shall be permitted.

Perhaps the crossword and cryptoquote from the paper will be attempted if my IQ suddenly and miraculously rises above 25.

Is this what it feels like to be dead?

Ooh, Listen, Listen!

I could post about something else but I'm still a little wiped out from all the cream (haha!) I did put up a new MP3 that I command you all to listen to (or well, at least read about and decide for yourselves.) But I get so excited about this selection! So go on, give it a go. It's "educational" and "enriching" too! Well maybe not so much for you as me but well...have a look.

*grin*

Happy New Year (Again...)

So last night was okay. We went over to some friends' and had dinner and played Trivial Pursuit. We started with the "90's Edition" and then for a real laugh went way back in time to the original "Genus I." My partner made a very good comment that because so much has changed over time, some of the answers were actually wrong (i.e. there is no USSR, the collapse of Berlin Wall etc...) but perhaps we were over thinking things... Anyway, we played in partnered teams just to move things along and did just fine. I've played that game since it first came out and I was a kid. It's great and because I love all things trivia it's always fun.

They have a sweet old(er) dog as well so I spent a fair amount of time curled up on the couch cuddling with him. He's not that old but he has Cushing's Syndrome so our friends are beginning to wonder just how much more doggie life he has in him left(?) We're not sure but he still gets around.

I tried to find a suitable picture of a French Brittany as that is his breed but I couldn't. If you don't know (as I am terrible with breeds of animals and really, all types of flora and fauna!) think something like a cross between border collie markings (only with spots!) and sort of spaniel-like features around the face and ears.

So basically that was about it. We watched pathetic entertainment on television and wondered why on earth anyone would want to go to Times Square or any other large, packed to the gills Metropolitan Centre or even pseudo/other Metropolitan Centres as we watched bizarre regional coverage and just shook our heads at the choice of "performers" on stage. We truly are a world embarrassment. Oh Canada, indeed!

And I seem to remember more coverage of cities around the world and all of that--speaking of being an embarrassment and who puts on a better show. Not that it's a competition but it is kind of funny to just watch all of the ridiculous spectacle. I only caught a glimpse of London. I know it was a big deal for the "Millennium." Haha...Y2K...all the computers crashing and all of that...everyone was so scared!

Anyway, it really doesn't matter. It's just another year. Sorry, don't mean to rain on the parade but whoop-de-doo. Just more challenges ahead...but...well, maybe some good stuff too. That would be nice.

Quick Update

I decided to scrap meebome and go with a chatterbox. I don't know if I really like the aesthetic of it and its got a dumb link to random silly shit at the bottom that pisses me off. I can't seem to get rid of it but the meebome wouldn't handle offline messages so that didn't seem suitable. Hmmm.

This might be a permanent or temporary messaging interface but for now, it's getting late and I'm too tired to keep futzing around.

Oh, Happy New Year. It's after midnight here. I'll probably blog about my evening tomorrow (or I guess that would be today!)--and no, I didn't spend the night messing around on the computer haha.

A Lazy Weekend

Well, most of my weekends are pretty lazy. They're my time to decompress from work, all things schedule-oriented (although I need schedule to function) and just relax. Except it's also time to do household tasks. And in this weekend's case, I'm still trying to beat this infection.

I watched the Liberal Leadership Convention on television all day yesterday. Yeah, I know. I can hear the multiple comments you must be making. They vary from to "Uber Geek!" to "Are you kidding me...BORING!" to maybe a couple of people saying, "Oh, I didn't know she was into politics."

Well, I'm not really but someone has to do something about our current Prime Minister "Bush Lite." And don't worry, this isn't going to turn into some crazy political rant or (heaven forbid!) blog because I'm really not that passionate about politics. If I was, I would be more crazy than I already am and probably need to be permanently institutionalized.

It (the Convention) was mildly interesting--when I wasn't nodding off or channel switching in between updates. But man, was it long! The problem was, we had so many candidates (a few dropped out and backed others before the final voting) so they had to do four votes. And there's all of this switching to others' camps in between and for the most part, the commentary was gruelling. I mean, think of your favourite sport and how annoying that is. Now magnify it by about 20.

So now we finally have a new Leader of the Opposition in Parliament so we'll see if anything exciting happens. Doubtful.

Sick Today...

Crap. Why do some infections just sneak up behind you and hit you over the head with a shovel? I'm at home today and thought I'd just whine. I should be in bed but I've pretty much been up since 0500hrs. When I get sick it really fucks with my insomnia--despite the fact that I'm already on sleep meds!

I just got back from a Walk-In Clinic as there was no way in hell I'd get an appt. with my regular doc. It was interesting. I got a script for Azythromycin when all I really wanted was one for my magic elixir Benzydamine (aka Tantum.) Man, if you have a sore throat, this stuff is good.

I'm always confused by the whole "antibiotic thing." It's either, "Here you go!" or "Nope, it's a virus." (Usually the latter in my case.) I know there are certain indicators, sputum colour etc... that can assist in the diagnosis but otherwise, it can be pretty hard to distinguish a lot of the bugs flying around out there, correct?

Anyway, this guy handed over the broad spectrum tabs quite easily based upon the fact that I smoke (yeah...a little...), my chest is killing me and he was concerned about encroaching bronchitis.

Hmmm.

Ah well, time for some soup, Zithro, Buckley's, Tantum and bed in that order.