Sunday, January 21, 2007

I Lied, I Did Do Something

Well, after a brief nap on the couch, partner wanted to go see a movie on the big screen so we went to go see "Notes on a Scandal." I finally managed to drag my wretched body up and out of the house.

Nothing like a nice, light flick to take your mind off things? Actually, Patient Anonymous prefers, darker subject matter anyway. The more troubling, the better. Not that comedy isn't good--I love a good laugh--but there's a lot of really dumb stuff out there. Documentaries are also high on the list. Granted, I'm not a "film snob." I'll watch anything. My partner's tastes can be so far off from mine! And not just in film but music as well! We are so different sometimes it amazes me how we're even together! But as she has said before, "It's our differences that make us interesting."

Anyway, back to the movie. If you don't know what it's about, basically, Judi Dench is a history teacher in a London school. She's been there (from what we gather, forever.) Cate Blanchett arrives as the ravishing (this is actually important) new art teacher. Now if you don't have a hole in your head from the outset, you can figure out that Judi Dench is actually a lesbian and she falls rather deeply for our dear Cate. This doesn't seem too hard to imagine? HA!

But that's not the scandalous part. Oh, no! Cate's character actually has an affair with one of her 15 year-old students. Judi witnesses this and well, their relationship gets rather complicated from there (as if it wasn't already) and all hell (typically) breaks loose.

It was actually quite good. I'm tempted to say "for a mainstream film" but that will make me sound like a film snob!

I really felt for the female characters. The story tells a tale of intimacy, passion, drives, loneliness, the need to be loved and feel alive and worthy. I could identify with the women, even if they had lost their moral compasses and at times seemed a bit off balance (been there?!)

I knew the story before going to see it. I read somewhere that it might not be palatable for "the wider audience" due to its content. I couldn't for the life of me understand what on earth that meant? I mean, yes, it's rather taboo for a teacher to sleep with a student but come on! It's actually happened! It's not like the movie is for the first time bringing it to the public's attention! And believe me, the public (at least here) doesn't seem to have any problem with it. The film's been out for a long time and for a matinée on a Sunday it was packed. So either Canadians are pretty open minded (well, actually a lot of us are...) or that writer was clearly not?

Anyway, time to go back to lying down.


Chrysalis Angel said...

My Dear P.A.,
This has nothing to do with what you posted, but I found out something and thought about a post you had some time ago. You had found someone that had been searching for an amount of a drug that could kill them. Today, by chance, I am affiliated with a cancer site, that has many sisters of mine, battling this disease, and one of them posted saying they had done this. Looking on line for an amount to end their suffering. They ended up calling a Dr. and the police broke down their door and an ambulance responded to the scene and they were rescued. I couldn't help but think of your post. She took many pills with alcohol and was admitted to a hospital. Her life was saved. I can not be sure it is related; however, what a coincedence. It broke my heart to know someone would do this. Yet, being in the shoes of one who knows there is an axe overhead - I can understand her suffering. Always remember, life is meant to be a gift. Our biological parents are only a vehicle of God, to bring the soul here, he wants. They sometimes are only a tool for you to be here. They aren't necessarily of any further use. Keep the good in your life P.A. sift through the rest.

Patient Anonymous said...

Thank you chrysalis angel, I am so sorry you had to be on the receiving end of such news. I have not been in your position but I have been in the position of your friend. Twice in fact. I just haven't gotten around to actually posting about it since this blog is relatively new and well...I'm just going with the flow.

I have felt "badly" (for lack of a better word) for placing the people that have "dealt with the aftermath" of my suicide attempts and been placed in such a position. Some had been diagnosed with disorders (at present and/or previously,) others hadn't so whether who really understood what "drove me to the brink," it's hard to say. At the time, I was hardly in a place to explain it and even to this day, I will always say that unless you have "really been there" you won't "get it." I'm much better at explaining it now as I have gained more insight into myself and my disorder and disorders in general.

Apologies for the excessive usage of quotation marks but it just lends to the difficulty of trying to illustrate the meaning of it all.

In retrospect, I do agree that life is worth living--even if it can be excrutiatingly painful at times. I have learned (and am still learning) that with Bipolar, at least, there is a constant ebb and flow. You may find yourself in one REALLY bad state but it's the nature of the disease (unfortunately) to always change! It's the most frustrating part of it but it can almost be a bizarre saving grace. Even though getting through it can be torturous.

There is a natural ebb and flow to life as well but it's like Bipolar exemplifies it to ultimate of extremes.

Thank you again for your kind and well thought out comments. I am constantly trying to sift the good from that seems a life's work.

Take good care of yourself.