For -byrdz-...And Any House Fans...

Hey, I don't "dedicate" posts to just anyone! I'm kidding... Listen, I'll dedicate a post to whomever wishes. Just send me an email! I need all the inspiration to blog I can get, believe me.

So -byrdz- commented on my "Earworm" post below about what the theme song was for House since my last MP3 was that damn song that keeps appearing all over the place on medical dramas. Blame Grey's Anatomy for carrying the torch.

So anyway, I tried to help out with my pithy response that it was "Teardrop" by Massive Attack featuring Liz Fraser from the Cocteau Twins on vocals. I've really liked both bands for years.

So in honour of that, I'll now host that song. Looks like I'm starting a trend of hosting medical drama "theme" songs. Oh dear. That is not a good sign.

My Gift To You...

Have you ever had an Earworm? They vary in contagion and duration.

I've got a relatively bad one now courtesy of so far, Grey's Anatomy and Scrubs. I wonder where else it's popping up?

Why does the current selection in rotation on MP3 Of The Moment (see my right sidebar) appear on so many medical dramas? It must have something to do with the line in the chorus and title, "How to Save a Life" but if you really listen to the song, it has absolutely nothing to do with medicine.

Anyway, see if you can get the damn song out of your head. And it's Top 40 type stuff. Not even my genre!

Wolfden Bar And Grill: Epiosode 7

Well everyone, here is my "contribution." I apologize in advance. I sincerely hope that no one is offended as well; I'm still not sure as to my level of "offensiveness" in some situations with people. All is meant in humour and as I am a little "offbeat,"well, I guess I'll just let you all decide.

Since I don't really know most of you--in fact, the majority of you I know absolutely nothing about, my main goal was to ensure that everyone got at least a mention in the story and that something was relevant to you? Sort of? Maybe? Some of you were just named.

Also, I don't think I really advanced the plot. If anything, I think I regressed it. Again, apologies...especially to Pamela who is next in line.

Here are the preceding episodes:

Part One by Wolfbaby
Part Two by Cathy
Part Three by Smalltown RN
Part Four by Willow Tree
Part Five by Dr. Rob
Part Six by JIP

So without further adieu...

Talk about spinning rooms. Who’s idea was it to start pouring all that Jagermeister and Tequila? And did someone put a copy of Crocodile Dundee into the DVD player? That is the most ridiculous portrayal of Australian “culture” ever! Or maybe that was just a dream. After force feeding us that much alcohol (was it just alcohol?…quickly surveys room to do clothing check—eyes Willow Tree furtively…) was this JIP’s vain attempt to try and stop the coup by the “BloggERs, Booze and Brazillians” cartel? By some weird form of hypnosis via B-Movie followed by Fire and Brimstone oratory to try and think that we’d actually been spirited away in some space-time warp to Oz? Did they really thing that the cartel was that obtuse?

Well, maybe they were but that remains to be seen.

Patient Anonymous was the first to wake up. She’s an early riser—sleep issues. Everyone else was in various states of disrepair, strewn across the bar.

Mysti and Pamela’s paints, brushes and tarps were still askew against the wall. They had decided to “fix up” the Wolfden a bit but it seems there was some debate about exactly what sort of paintings should appear upon the walls. Wolfbaby didn’t care. As long as everyone was “happy.” Happy? HA! There had been near warfare breaking out over that too! Some religious inspired frescoes? Dreaming Again was happy to offer her opinion on some suitable ideas but others leaned more toward landscapes or impressionistic works. And others, even still to something completely modern and/or abstract. It seems no one could settle on one theme so thankfully there was lots of wall space in the Wolfden. It might be the most bizarrely decorated place in the history of bars. Period.

“The Writer’s Corner” inhabited by Pearls and Dreams, Karmyn and Susan lay in tatters as well. Not sure what was happening over there. Ipanema spent a lot of time with that crew. She was the Chief Proofreader. She was smart and insightful. Fallen Angels and Jungle Tart would also frequent the tables conveniently joined together for maximum area for lots of spirited discussion and debate. Unfortunately that meant that not a lot of writing got done.

Patient Anonymous set about making some coffee for everyone. No doubt they needed it. Heather was the first to wake up. Patient Anonymous asked her how she was feeling.

“A little oysgeshpilt,” Heather said.

“Got in himmel, I know what you mean!” Patient Anonymous responded in kind.

Cathy raised her head and stared at them strangely.

“It’s Yiddish,” they both said in unison.

Patient Anonymous was concerned, however. Only she knew why The Laundress wasn’t speaking. She felt truly terrible about it and was trying to figure out how to rectify the situation but was very embarrassed to tell the cartel.

You see, she thought she had perfected the technique of “The Painless Brazillian” and The Laundress had agreed to be a “test subject.” But it seems that Patient Anonymous needed to go back to the lab and “touch things up a bit.” Things hadn’t worked out quite as planned with The Laundress. As a, sort of, gift of apology, Patient Anonymous mail ordered some anime and had it sent to the Laundress as she too is a fan but the distributor messed up and sent some really bad hentai and now The Laundress seems to be rather afraid of Patient Anonymous. Somehow, Patient Anonymous was still determined to make things up to The Laundress, however. It was all just a big mistake!

As people slowly began to rouse from their various states of consciousness, Patient Anonymous hurried back over to her area of the bar with Dr. A, Dr. Rob, A Difficult Patient and Smalltown RN. She pushed aside all of their bar glasses, laptops, gadgets and gizmos and laid her arms across the table in a business-like manner.

“Guys, I know you’re all really hungover and we’ve got to get back on track with the whole takeover thing and all of that—that is if you’re still into it…I mean, I’m kind of tired but…”

She paused.

“…can we talk about some of your ethics training here? It may not apply since Willow Tree isn’t a medical professional but I’m actually quite concerned about what he’s done. I mean, do we even know if any of these women wanted to get pregnant?! It’s like some kind of “cyber assault!” And I’m rather worried about Beth. What if she’s next. I know we’ve got some other very pressing things on our mind but I just can’t stop thinking of all of these pregnancies! I’m a little upset. And by the way, do any of you guys have a prescription pad handy…?"

EDIT: MOOFIE! *SLAPS FOREHEAD* I just went back and looked at the list and I forgot to insert you into my piece. Please forgive me. I stink.

Warning, Estrogen Filled Post Ahead...

Well, that was a brief hiatus. I swear, this blog is rather reflective of my life right now: confused, chaotic, without direction? I thank everyone for their comments, emails and support of late. Some have said to rest, some have said to keep blogging, some have just "been there" and commented. And people are still out there, frighteningly enough, reading this! I still don't know what to do. So I guess I shall keep living (and blogging--or deciding about it) day by day.

So I woke up with a real clanger of a headache this morning. At first I thought it was a migraine as it hurt that bad and I had good old "shovel neck." Did one of these two guys try and "whack me" while I was trying to sleep?

My period should be here. Any.Minute.Now. But more on that later. It made me wonder...oh dear, could this be some sort of PMS-induced migraine? Oh shit, I hope not. With my wacky noodle, what next, Catamenial Seizures? Good thing, one of the meds I already take (Clobazam/Frisium) seems to be the drug that's just the ticket for that. If you're in the US, try Diamox/Acetazolamide as apparently that has shown some promise in this area and Clobazam isn't FDA approved.

Now my period can be quite the prima donna. Oh, I know she's coming. I have plenty of warning signs alright. But she always keeps the audience (me for the most part) impatiently waiting with no respect at all. But as a longtime subscriber to all of her shows, I can't ever seem to get my money back.

I will sit in the front row, as I always do, surrounded by many other women. Sometimes there are a few gents there as well but they are usually bored to tears or asleep, snoring loudly. Finally, at long last, she takes the stage! Her performance is always terrible, horrendous! I don't understand how she gets such rave reviews the world over! She is called a "gift," a "miracle," "something everyone should be proud and honoured to have bestowed upon them!" I slump down in my seat a bit longer until I can't stand it any more.

I remove myself and waltz out to the box office in the foyer and demand (yet again) my money back for this so-called "performance." I am treated like a lower-class frump for not appreciating the prima donna's beauty and grace and all of her ethereal and natural qualities. I scream at the box office attendant (for I do now feel like a lower class frump as I have become irritable, bloated and in pain ever since the prima donna first set foot on stage.) It's of no use. I can not get my money back. But as I storm out the door, I feel a tap on my shoulder. The ticket agent slaps in my hand my next month's passes to the theatre to enjoy yet again, my prima donna's next appearance.

What's Your Specialty

I found this over at MedStudentGod's blog via Vijay's blog.

Surprise, surprise for me:

The medical specialty for you is.... Psychiatry

Psychiatry is the best of all specialties. As a psychiatrist, people may claim that you went into the field because you yourself are crazy. But only you know the truth, which is that you are crazy. Enjoy the ride.

To find out what specialty best fits your unique personality, go to:

What Medical Specialty Is For You?

Blindsided While Making Tea

Okay, this is my day of making short meaningless posts. While making my morning (aka go forth and be functional) tea, I was asked, "Who do like for the Superbowl this year PA?"

*stares vacantly*

PA knows at least something about many things in the world and well, she "gets" North American "football" but truth be told, she's much more a fan of European "football" or "soccer." In fact, she used to hang out at a Manchester United pub! Hey, it was a fun place!

PA: "Well, really, I haven't been following "football" at all this year. Who's playing?"

Man: "Chicago and Indianapolis"

PA: "Oh, the Bears and the Colts." (at least PA knew the teams...)

PA thought for a moment.

PA: "Well, my money's on the Colts."

Man: "I think you're right. They're a much better team and I think Chicago needs the colder weather to slow down other teams to get the advantage."

Oh dear, where's my tea.

God I Needed That...

Had to go to partner's mother's for dinner. It's not quite as traumatic as visiting my mother. Apart from other things, what is key to mention at this moment in time is she always has relatively good wine.

After a couple of good glasses (goblets?) Patient Anonymous became suitably relaxed. I haven't had a drink since New Year's Eve.

Patient Anonymous tries not to drink--it messes her up and her partner does not like it. Not that her partner is "the alcohol police" but Patient Anonymous' drinking has led to some...arguments. Partner does not drink. Rarely, if ever.

Not that Patient Anonymous has done anything bad while drinking. But for some reason, it's a sore spot. Patient Anonymous actually thinks she's quite fun when she's had a few...or a quite a few. Perhaps that's the problem.

No matter. Tonight, some decent red was exactly what was needed.

When stated to partner, partner said: "Needed?"

Patient Anonymous jokingly retorted (ah, the English language...) "You know I've been stressed out...and Hypnotics don't work like the Benzos used to!" (i.e. I'm off benzos now.)

Note to all readers/Public Service Announcement: This post is purely for amusement purposes only. Do not seek substances (i.e. alcohol and/or drugs) for dealing with psychiatric problems or crises. Self-medication is not a solution. I should know.

*grin*

Oh I'm Killing Myself...This May Be Somewhat Disturbing

Absolute of paroxysmal laughter at my desk. Courtesy of a friend as warped as me:

Mom Spanked The Gay Out Of Me

In The Line Of Fire: Inflicting My Bad Neurochemistry On Unsuspecting Tourists

Oh those poor, sweet, darling girls from England. I don't think they knew what hit them!

On the way home from work this evening, I was stopped by three young girls who I assume were visiting here. They were looking for a nightclub a mere couple of blocks away (from where we were and my workplace nonetheless) and yet, I could not manage to give them proper directions. I babbled on and on about what the club looked like and how it had several names for differents parts of it and the signs on it and how to sort of get there.

What on earth? I used to know my city like the back of hand, inside out, up and down, backwards and forwards. Conclusion? Meds make you stoopid. I can get lost in a teacup now. And nevermind that I could have provided ample landmarks that I walk past every day (like my own building!) That would have been far too easy.

And riddle me this? Why is it that whenever I meet someone with an accent (and always someone from the UK--England in particular) I start parroting them? I don't mean to. I've since learned through "sensitivity training" that this is completely unacceptable as you are "othering" people. That is to say, you are highlighting their differences and it can be perceived that you are being offensive.

But I don't mean to! It's just some strange thing that my brain does! And I have to put concerted effort toward stopping it and that is very hard to do when you are actually in the midst of trying to have an intelligent, cogent and sometimes rapid-fire conversation!

I used to be very good at dialects and all sorts of accents when I was a child. That's a great skill to hone should one want to pursue a career on the stage or in film. But I don't and didn't.

So apologies you girls, I hope you made you way to the bar and that I didn't sound like some bizarre hybrid Canuck-Londoner!

Addendum: Here's some information that sheds some light on the fact that nonconscious mimicry is entirely "normal!" Take a look.

My New Year's Resolution Early--DJ Patient Anonymous Spins For You!

I'm actually not one for resolutions. I feel that if you want to accomplish something--then you just do it; it's as simple as that. And because I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted post about (a few ideas rolling around but not enough motivation to pick one and do it justice?) I decided to work on making this blog a bit more *fun.*

I had been wanting to add a Flash MP3 player for a while but I couldn't find a decent free one that I liked (that worked.) And yes, I want to host my own music. I've seen some other folks out there playing some other "canned" stuff that is hosted by the MP3 player that you get for free from the site but that's just no fun. I want to be the DJ!

Yes, you would invariably find me doing that at parties all through high school (with the host's permission of course!) It's not that I wasn't social (or downright anti-social haha!) I tended more toward the shy and thoughtful type but chances are that there probably was something wrong when everyone kept asking me about a dozen or more times throughout the evening. So, if I couldn't find anyone to talk to, I figured I might as well make myself useful as everyone loved music at parties and I sure did too. So I'd spin the tunes and that would keep me occupied while I would just sit and "observe."

So after spending most of the afternoon trying to download this and that with no positive result, I went the ultra "high-tech, low-tech" route with some very simple javascript code (like I even know what I'm talking about!!!) and QuickTime. It's actually a google player so at least it'll work with Blogger (yes, I am still laughing...) And the bonus is that I can still type in text so you, dear reader, can get my "brilliant" commentary along with the song. I know, you are thrilled.

And of course, you do realize that this is for my sheer indulgence and your horror, amusement, entertainment and perhaps education.

I also added a meebome widget in case anyone wants to leave a message or post catty remarks about the music (or anything else.) Also maybe a good idea since Blogger can be so flaky. A good tool too if you're too busy or maybe a little shy about sending me an email. They're always welcome as well, however!

Oh yes, one more thing. The DJ does take requests *grin*

Did I Hear That Right?

I forgot about this. I meant to post about it the other night. I was watching Law and Order (too bad Dr. Deb is on vacation, even though it wasn't SVU--I could have ran over to her blog for a quickie on the topic.) Anyway, I wasn't really paying attention. There was too much going on in the house and it was late...anyway, my ears pricked up when I heard that a character died while overdosing on Depaquel(sp?). Huh? They said it was an antipsychotic. And just to be sure that I wasn't hallucinating, they repeated the drug name three times during the episode.

Okay. Now I know that certain drugs can be sold around the world under various generic names but Seroquel is fairly new and I don't know if the patent has run out yet for other companies to start producing it under another name other than the generic Quetiapine. So I was thinking, is this some new hybrid between either Depakote or Depakene and Seroquel? Why anyone would want to do that is beyond me. And you thought Zyprexa would pack on the pounds HA! And speaking of Zyprexa (aka Olanzapine,) it's the only antipsychotic that I know of that has been souped up with another med, an SSRI--Prozac (aka Fluoxetine.) That is Symbyax and I'm sure that was years in the making.

I have yet to hear of any plans to combine anticonvulsants with antipsychotics. To me, it doesn't make any sense. Granted, I'm no psychopharmocologist but anticonvulsants are too hit and miss. And although they may be considered mood stabilizers, technically they are not. They only true mood stabilizer as a class of drug is Lithium. The whole point of Symbyax was to assist with the depressive aspects of bipolar. So far in clinical trials (if memory serves,) the best drug in the anticonvulsant class (and what I've heard anecdotally--see, anticonvulsants are a crap shoot when it comes to treating the depression side of bipolar!) is Lamictal. So maybe the drug in the television show should have been called Lamiquel?

That got me thinking, maybe my spelling was off. Maybe it was Depoquel! That got me going down a whole different pathway. Maybe it was a combination of Depo-Provera (birth control) and Seroquel! Now this makes sense (and the victim of death was female...) This just might be marketable. Sometimes those manic episodes do lead to some pretty bad decisions... Hey, with the *new* "Depoquel" you certainly won't have to worry about racing to get the "Morning After Pill!"

Now I googled every spelling variable possible and I can't find anything. If someone in some country somewhere takes this version of an antipsychotic, please let me know. Nothing makes me angrier than misinformation in the media. I don't know if there was some sort of copyright thing going on but if so, then they could have resorted to good old Haldol/Halperidol and leave it at that.

Just In Time For Christmas...

Someone just sent this to me and I have to post it. It seems completely appropriate for this blog.

"You Do It!": I'm Such An Ass...

So my partner made some curry for last night's dinner. With all of my stomach problems she suggested that she pick up some rice on the way home as we have none in the house. She's on a restricted diet at the moment for health reasons--long story... She also mentioned potatoes. I thought it might be a good idea to cut the spice with some starch, just in case. So I said to her:

"Whatever's easier for you to make."

Pause.

I hear back in disbelief, "What?!"

No, I do not treat my partner as my personal slave. Welcome to the fact that I sometimes lose my verbal filter.

I apologized and started laughing. Luckily, she was laughing too. It's a good thing we have such a healthy relationship and she understands me.

You see, my parterner is a chef by trade. She does most (well...all...) of the cooking. It's not that I can't cook. It's just that:

1. She's better at it.
2. When we first moved in together I was grossly intimidated and still feel a little inadequate.
3. I'm funny with food.

You know how some people live to eat? Well, I eat to live. I've always been that way. I just don't really care about eating. I can go for long periods of time without food (which is unhealthy, I know--I probably have the most screwed up metabolism in the world.) And thanks to going on the "Topamax diet," well, I care even less. And with the gastro problems I barely want to eat at all. But my partner keeps me fed. Left to my own devices, I'd be a lot thinner than I am now. When I met her, she managed to put some necessary weight on me.

My partner also "manages" me in other ways. I need a lot of help with reminders about doing things around the house. This inevitably leads to her getting frustrated and me feeling like shit and vowing to "try harder." I hate it.

And dates, scheduling...she's in charge of all social arrangements, anything like that. I can barely handle my own medical appointments and bill payments.

It takes a lot of communication and we're pretty good at that. Even though I still tend to forget a fair bit what she tells me (sometimes within the span of a few minutes! Oh help me my new psychiatrist when I see you...)

Sometimes it makes me wonder just how functional I am. But that's another post.

For now, I'll just keep on making the odd comment here and there and keep paying for it with merciless teasing. Hey, it could be worse?

A New Tool For My ADD?

I just saw a commercial for this on television. Caution: it actually shows you the annoying commercial. It actually reminded me of some discussion about Direct Marketing Ads over at Dr. Anonymous' blog, granted they were about selling pharmaceuticals. This is for some "must have" gadget that will make your life so much more manageable.

I always wonder about these ads. I mean, if the product is so great(!) why isn't it sold in stores, in catalogues, all over the free world? Well, I did find it on the internet but well...look what else you can find on the internet.

Hey, you found me right?

But back on point. They said in the commerical that "other" voice recorders (aka microcassette etc...) were *flash flash* more expensive! But this product was so much cheaper, smaller, handier and you get 2-for-the-price-of 1! Ah, there's the hook.

I have a microcassette recorder and I used to try and carry it around whenever I got a great "writing idea" when I used to write (and coincidentally be hypomanic.) But I more often than not forgot to to bring it with me wherever I went. That was the ADD rearing it's head.

This new doodad has a keychain attachment, however. But when you have ADD there's the issue of remembering where exactly you put your keys... Didn't someone come out with something where you could whistle if you lost your keys and that gadget would emit a sound so you could find them...?

Yes! Apparently no longer available through Amazon.com (people in the US aren't losing their keys anymore?) but here's a company in the UK that apparently still has a model to offer: Maplin Electronics.

But by this time, even if you don't have any cutesy personal key tags/trinkets to identify your set, your keychain is going to be getting pretty heavy. Will it still fit into your pocket? And I still have some questions that remain unanswered about that little "reminder thingie." I mean, what's it's capacity? I forget a lot of things in the span of one day. I mean A LOT. How many messages can I record for myself? What's sort of memory is on that thing? Can I get it upgraded? And who will remind me that I need to check my reminders? Does it have a flashing light or a beep? Ooh, a beep would be kind of annoying--probably to all parties involved with the amount of messages I'd need to record.

I guess if I want to scrap adding the extra 5lbs. to my frame, I can always go for the Hipster PDA. But really, I've never been that crafty and it just seems to be too much work. I've already had way too many bad experiences with Post-It notes tacked all over the place. They inevitably end up not being sticky enough and fall off their intended surfaces and then, my reminder is lost into an abyss forever. Paper doesn't seem to work all that well for me. And eternally, there's always the chance that I'd forget to bring my Hipster PDA (like my keys or my microcassette recorder--and just about everything else I use every day) with me wherever I went.

I don't think there's a product out there that can really help me. Certainly not one I'd pay for.

Lipstick For Your Roots?

So on my way in to work this morning, I saw one of the oddest things. A woman looked like she was applying lipstick to her faded roots with a compact mirror. I just sat and stared. And barely contained myself--I wanted to laugh out loud! I know it's rude to stare but when I see things that I can't comprehend, sometimes my eyes betray me.

Now I don't dye my hair (I've earned every one of my incoming greys and they're staying!) so I don't know if some bizarre product is on the market that looks like lipstick that could be used to "patch up" the offending spots on your scalp before you can get to your stylist.

But still. What on earth could it be made of? And wouldn't it be greasy? And this thing looked like lipstick. It was this dark, almost maroon colour and slid up and down and was shaped like the traditional thing.

I'm sure I could spend some time researching this as there just may very well be something someone has invented out there that matches this description. But I don't know if I will. It's just too much fun to think that this woman was actually applying lipstick to her head (I'm still grinning like a fool as I type this.)

I did ask a colleague when I arrived at work (who does colour her hair) and she'd never heard of such a thing. She also thought the whole incident equally bizarre. Maybe I should ask my own hairdresser when I see him next.