Hey Baby...What's Your Diagnosis?

Even though this blog is free, you are paying for it with your time so I guess I'll let you know a bit about me, your host(ess?--I hate gendered words). And at the beginning of relationships, it is proper form to introduce yourself...or did I read that somewhere, maybe in an Anthropology textbook on "Primitive Human Customs?"

So about my mental diagnoses/history. Well, it's a little lengthy and I tend to run off at the mouth so I'll try to be concise.

In my late 20s, I started to have trouble with lack of concentration, insomnia, loss of appetite etc... and after reviewing these with a friend who had suffered with depression for many years he pegged me. I went to see a psychiatrist and he immediately diagnosed me with unipolar depression. We never really touched upon bipolar symptoms but I wouldn't have clued in. You see, I had been living in a continual hypomanic existence for about 7 years. Hypomania was "normal" for me so if he had ever asked me about symptoms, I would have clearly said, "nope."

Antidepressants threw me into a tailspin and finally, the medical/psychiatric establishment have tapped in to the idea that they can actually exacerbate bipolar symptoms in some patients with the disorder. Of course, no one seemed to figure this out with me. Fast forward a few years and I actually figured it out.

I went to my then GP and told him that I actually thought I had bipolar disorder and we switched to anticonvulsant therapy. Wow. The (hypo)mania was halted. But the depression still lingered. At least we were on the right track, however.

While researching anticonvulsants and their more traditional use in epilepsy treatment, I suddenly realized that I had been experiencing simple partial seizures all my life. It was like, "Oh, so that's what those were!" I'd had them since I was a kid! Not to mention the fact that two of the antidepressants known to drop seizure thresholds (Effexor and Wellbutrin) that I had taken in the past did exactly that!

So, off to a neurologist for a diagnosis of "seizure disorder" but not epilepsy proper.

Betwixt and between all of that, focusing issues and concentration were always a problem. I brought up ADD to my ex-GP and he confirmed that I have that too.

Oh yes, I'm also a migraineur.

Ahem...(Steps Up to the Mike)

Well, I blame Dr. A for all of this. I posted on his blog and he said I should start one of my own because he thought I'd make a good blogger. Huh. Well, I'm sure this will prove him wrong!

Tut tut. "Now that's no way to behave," I can hear all none of you saying as you read this. I must take responsibility for my own actions. I decided to take this on myself and even my therapist today thought it was a good idea

Huh (part II.)

Well, if nothing more it will prove to be an interesting "experiment" and I love experiments! It will either be the most pathetic blog in the history of the internet or I may actually get someone (besides Dr. A) to read it.

And excuse the sparseness for now. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. And uh, yeah...beware oh ye of the sensitive ears to profanity. It'll slip into my posts probably fairly frequently?

"Some people" claim that the use of profanity is a sign of low intelligence but I disagree. Sure, I could come up with all sorts of flowery, even lengthy idioms to express my frustration and utter ire in certain circumstances but that is not the point. When you're upset and you really need to let loose, swearing just feels good. It's a release!